Dear friend suffering from infertility,
I know. I know exactly where you are in this season of life. I know the worry and the fear. I know the pain of loss. I know heartbreak. I know the process of taking out loans and looking at finances not for a house, or a car, but for a chance. I know how it feels to get labwork that will determine your future with a gut wrenching feeling that this just may be it. I know the lectures you get from people who don’t understand. I know the stacks of brochures about the other options. I know. And you know what, all of that sucks.
We painstakingly heard the words that it was going to be nearly impossible for us to have children. Endometriosis and secondary infertility were words that now had labels in our lives and seemed to manage our futures more than we could. I sat in a doctor’s office as a 26 year old amongst a room full of women and thought of my impossible, quickly realizing they had impossible goals too. Some were my age and other women were older, but none of us made eye contact although all our emotions were present.
Our infertility journey was long, three years, to be exact. The time includes 3 full rounds of IVF, two laporascopic sugeries and countless procedures that made me feel incomplete. We longed for children but in the back of my mind, all I heard were impossible words. Then one day, when I was at my lowest of lows and felt my absolute worst, a precious friend from work reminded me
“God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers”.
Those words became my mantra, and I said them over and over to myself. My faith is important to my husband and me. We believe in the power of prayer and letting go of control for God to take over. When I realized this was out of my hands, this happened.
One longer letter, I’ll write our entire infertility story, but for now I want to leave you with encouragement because it can be so hard to find in deep, emotional times. Ignore the percentages, the nay-sayers, that voice in your head telling you to give up. If this is what you want, make sure it’s on the same page as The Man Above’s. He won’t forsake you or fail you. And He never says it’s impossible.
I’m praying for you my friend,